i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
