I hate your face
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
