there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
