i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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