Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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