Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
