thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
