Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
