u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
