shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
