There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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