He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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