I can tuck mytits in my pants
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
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