i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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