i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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