Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
