you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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