Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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