i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
