so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I have demons in me.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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