no you cant smoke seaweed
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
