Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
