I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
