yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
