Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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