Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
