whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Randomize
