a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Randomize
