Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
