if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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