My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
