PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
