Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
