No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
