when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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