It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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