oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
