Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
