I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
