so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
