how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
