i just wanna soil my oats bro
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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