I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
