I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
