Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
