He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I want a musical about memes.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
