We're like a lot better than the average bears
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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