If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
