Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
