I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
