Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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